I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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