..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
