Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
