is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i just google imaged poop.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
