I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
