I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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