Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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