Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
