What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
