How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize