I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
