She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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