My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
