2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Randomize
