If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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