Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
