508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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