I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
