She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
