i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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