I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize