Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
