Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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