I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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