mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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