I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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