I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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