He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
