i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
he shaved USA in his pubs
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
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