Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I'm passing your future prison.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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