This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
