I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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