I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Me too!
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize
