i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
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