I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
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