We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
