So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Randomize
