did you get engaged???
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
