I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
