you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
