I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
