I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
