Where did you get a picture of my penis
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
