I think I can smell my own vagina right now
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
