I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
