she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
