She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Randomize
