My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
tell me about the eggs
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
