She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
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