Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
this will be a night to untag.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
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