I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
