we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
