I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
