I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
