I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Randomize
