Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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