Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize