My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize