You're completely useless in the revolution.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Be still, my beating vagina.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Randomize
