How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
